SRV Parents Grow Along with Their Children

By Janet R. Long

As our 9–year–old son's fifth year at SRV begins, it is both exciting and humbling to reflect on the many ways he has grown since kindergarten. Four years at SRV have filled him with an early appreciation of what is important in life – building connections with others, respecting our natural resources, celebrating physical as well as mental energy, and beginning to grasp human experience in the context of a larger world view.

I talk with many parents outside the SRV community and while their children are getting the academic piece, the other dimensions often seem to get short shrift. I try not to feel self–righteous about this – and don't always succeed. Indeed I find myself asking if I've also grown as a parent. While admittedly a work in progress, let me recount some ways.

First confession: before coming to SRV, no one would have accused me of avid environmentalism. Turning off the water while you brush your teeth?? Not even on the radar. When my son's Primary Circle class invited the parents to stand surrounded by what seemed like 10,000 gallon–sized jugs representing how much water is wasted in a year, it was literally a watershed moment. Four SRV years later, I feel guilty if the faucet drips during the tooth brushing part and if I forget, my son is there to pointedly remind me. Letting the car idle on a nice day ("do you know that you're polluting the earth and killing people, Mom!")? Nevermore.

And pre–SRV healthy cooking? Not so much. I barely cooked at all. Today, my son and I read ingredients and food shop to make a healthful meal together, he as chef and moi as sous chef, his third grade teacher's suggestion, also as a way to practice reading and spelling skills. While we have yet to replicate Maria's (SRV's Chef Par Excellence) pesto, we're making progress and having a ball along the way.

Then there was the whole competitiveness thing. When beloved SRV Sports and Woodshop teacher Mike Nowell spoke eloquently about competition at a PCO meeting a few years back, it was easy to see how our son could benefit from honing his athletic skills in an environment that didn't prize winning over learning. The kids got right with the program.

As a parent, it wasn't always so easy. Just this summer our son and one of his best buddies, also an SRV student, enrolled in a week–long chess camp. Both boys like the game and play a bit. While the brochure stated that all experience levels were welcome, the other participants were clearly on a different track, already veteran tournament players. When the counselor suggested to me that we might consider getting the boys a "chess coach" in the fall to catch them up, I counted it as a personal victory that I didn't bite. Wasn't the process of playing just as important? Couldn't they just have fun with it? Yes, the SRV philosophy had taken hold.

The journey will continue this year, with a mix of pride, joy and trepidation as my son will surely show ever–more growth and independence. I only hope that I can keep up with him.

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